52 pick up in the grocery store line

The following is a reflection of a personal revelation. A few years back I had an intense time of personal crisis, and in that time I became very intensely aware of my faith and my beliefs, as well as my priorities. This is not a story, but I believe this is a life system that simply allows for balance through alignment and awareness of the things that matter in life.

The “52” is really the 5 sets of life commitments and the 2 facts of life . The grocery store line is the set of choices that we have in typical daily life.

The secret to living a happy and fulfilling life is in the following statement:

Live the 5

Know the 2 “Live, Know, Love”

Love the line

What is your favorite thing about going to the grocery store? Most of us love getting food or seeing something on sale. We like the anticipation of the snacks and meals that each item lends itself to. We like that we find something we had not considered before but sounds great to eat. In fact, if it were not for the unpleasant task of standing in the grocery store checkout line, most of us would not really mind going to the grocery store. What is most ironic about this displeasure is that it is simply a choice we make. Many people who hate standing in line enjoy being surrounded by strangers at a packed party on New Years Eve. Aren't these really the same thing? Many of us would like to have a conversation with new people with no strings attached but don't know where to make such a thing happen. How about in line?

A few years back I decided to have fun in line. I got a small handheld TV and took it with me shopping and watched TV in the line. I also experimented with reading tabloids out loud to other people in line just for something to laugh about. I brought a favorite book on occasion and would read it in line.

Another revelation that occurred to me while in line was why not let my kids have some candy? In fact, why not get a piece for everyone in my line and the cashier. I then thought why not buy a pizza and share it while in line?

Before long I started to have a great deal of fun at the grocery store, including and especially in the line. I have met new friends and business associates, learned new ways to eat things, and discovered new recipes. It is from this one application that I began to realize that the “routine, mundane tasks” of life are up to me to make fun.

In the same vein, I found myself in traffic one day on a long drive. The drive is usually a 4-hour drive at best. On this particular trip, however, the traffic was terrible, and the drive took me 6 hours plus. While cussing traffic I thought about my grocery store line and realized that I loved sitting in my car listening to music. In fact some days when I am bored I will take a drive and listen to my music with no real destination. Well, I wondered, what is the difference between then and now? I think the only real difference is my attitude, which is up to me. So I sat back and went through my music collection and started to play and sing and relax. It became a great trip. I found myself singing and relaxing and really taking advantage of an opportunity to listen to music and enjoy the time and opportunity to do so.

Another time I saw another driver to my left in traffic who gave me the look of frustration. I shrugged my shoulders as if to say “I feel the same.” After passing this car four or five times in the slow movement of traffic I realized I could probably have a conversation with this person and that it would make the trip more fun if I could figure out a way to communicate. I found a pad of paper in my satchel and started writing questions like “where are you going,” and “are you often in this traffic,” and “where do you live,” and “what do you do?” It was fun, and before long there were 5 other cars writing jokes and conversing with each other. I never heard from any of them again but it sure made the trip fun.

This, then, is the secret of the line. It is to realize the here and now and make the most of it. Maybe, more importantly, it is to be aware that it is often a choice we make that determines what we enjoy, that we do not have to be miserable like everyone else, and that we can choose to do little things that fill up our time with enjoyment. In fact, I think it is in times like these that we build our character with our fellow man. It is here that we can show love and kindness by being considerate, which, in the long run, really determines how much fun we have. We must love the line!

The “5”

  The “5” are the 5 set of life commitments that we each deal with. They are as follows:

•  Faith

•  Health

•  Family

•  Friends

•  Work

Not only are these the “5” but it is in this order that they need to be prioritized. This is often very challenging, as most of us spend a great deal of our time at the 5 th (work). But if we can keep these things in order of most to least important we are able to stay happy.

In fact it is in this order that each of these will be there for us in life's most serious crises.

Without faith we have no real purpose in daily life. Without health we cannot pursue most purposes in life. It is the human relationships in family that most of us yearn for, and it is these people in a healthy family who are there for us no matter what. It is friends who often become as close as family and, except for their own “5” issues, they are there for us. Finally there is work, which as I mentioned before often takes a great deal of our time commitment. Yet, most of us would choose the other four before it, if given the choice. Of course, if we are really cognizant of the grocery store line lesson, we will enjoy our work. For that matter it is not impossible to find friends, family, health and faith at work if we work at it.

As we make life decisions, if we constantly assess how the decisions address the “5” and make sure we live daily with the priorities of the “5” in mind, we can't help but have great days.

The “2”

Of course this all sounds easy, but without a more specific application it is somewhat impossible to really keep the “5” in balance. This is where the “2” comes in. The 2 are simply the 2 ultimate facts of life; Time and Opportunity .

We are only given but so much time and so many opportunities, so the secret to insuring that we make the most of our time and opportunities is to work at them. One of my favorite songs is James Taylor's “Oh the Secret of Life.” In his song Taylor says, “the secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.” As simple as it sounds, we usually choose not to do it. Most of us become very organized about our work but not about the other “4.” We simply hope they work out, and often they do, but just as often they do not. This is where our regrets come from. The trick is in time management and planning for choices based on our priorities by sitting down with a calendar and planning ahead based on our priorities.

This is the point of practicality that I will try to expand on, and it is also an ongoing work in my life. Please do not think as you read this that I have it all figured out, or that my life is always great, or because of my outlook I am some kind of guru. In fact nothing could be further from the truth. I am an average guy trying to keep things in perspective, and this writing is an attempt to get further organized with my life choices. This is in fact a work in progress.

Further Definition of The “5”

Faith – This is the place where we define our purpose for existing, something greater than ourselves that helps us to know why we are here.

Health – Health involves many different parts of who we are. By that I mean physical, mental, and spiritual health, all of which are extremely necessary for each of us to be able to take part in any of life's activities. In fact, this is usually the one we take most for granted until it is threatened, and then we become extremely aware of its importance.

Family – These are the people with whom we are connected biologically, Mothers, Fathers, Sisters, Brothers, Grandparents, Uncles, Aunts, Cousins, Husbands, Wives, Children, and Grandchildren, etc. This connection is very difficult to define, but most of us are extremely aware of the inner drawing we have to these people. It often seems to be an innate sense of relationships. So strong is this family association that it even causes some of us to stay involved with these people even when it is harmful to # “2”, our health.

Friends – These are the people not biologically related to us but we form intimate relationships with. They are often so close that our relationships with them sometimes become even more intensive than family.

Work – This is our place of employment, hopefully something very fulfilling, and for many people a calling. However, it is important that we realize this is the least important thing in our relationship scenario. This is often a difficult line to maintain because we spend so much of our lives at work that it frequently becomes our top priority. It is a very important part of life, and I do not wish to diminish its importance, but I do believe we work for a living, not live to work. In fact, most of us work to maintain the other 4 relationships. I believe we also can't do a consistently effective job if the other things in life are not in place. It is when the top priorities in life are maintained that we are most productive in our work.

These then are the “5” sets of relationships in life and as we look at our time and opportunities we must work at maintaining a sense of each of these and continually attempt to balance them against the time and opportunities we each have. Living the 5 = comprehensive time management.

So how do we do that? It is through an attempt at intensive awareness that we can only achieve with a real attempt at quality time management. And yet as we attempt to manage time we must continually be aware that due to life's unpredictable circumstances we must constantly adjust. We must Do the 5, know the 2, and love the line! 

A Perfect Day

These are some lessons I learned from a dear friend, Senator Robert Kittleman. He shared these things just hours before his death.

As he learned of his demise, his family discussed with him the type of memorial he wanted. One of the first things he shared was that he wanted a song played that he had heard years ago. The song is titled “A Perfect Day.” The words to this song, he said, make up a perfect day, and enough perfect days make a perfect life. Here are the words:

When you come to the end of a perfect day, And you sit alone with your thought, While the chimes ring out with a carol gay for the joy that the day has brought, Do you think what the end of a perfect day can mean to a tired heart, When the sun goes down with a flaming ray, and the dear friends have to part?

Well, this is the end of a perfect day, Near the end of a journey, too; But it leaves a thought that is big and strong, with a wish that is kind and true. For mem'ry has painted this perfect day with colors that never fade, And we find at the end of a perfect day the soul of a friend we've made. -Carrie Jacobs Bond (1910)

Hours before he died, Bob also shared another significant truth with his son Allan. Allan had shared with Bob that he did not think he could ever be the person his father was, that the shoes were too big to fill. With loving eyes Bob said to Allan that it really was not that hard if you remembered a couple of things. These things Allan now calls his father's mantra, and it is as follows:

•  Love each other - and remember love is not a word or words but a group of actions

•  Work Hard - remember that if you do not work at something you are passionate about, you will not really be able to work hard.

•  Trust others - this will make you trust worthy

•  Be happy when others succeed - this will help you avoid the ugliest of human behaviors (greed, envy, and jealousy)